You know when you start off with a new interest in someone and they begin to take over your thoughts constantly? You know this isn't good for you but you can't help dwelling on your past moments with them and your hopes for the future. The present becomes slightly unbearable and removed from reality. You feel like you're just falling in to space at the mercy of your interest's actions.
This is how I've been feeling for the past few days. Stewart has worked his way into my regular consciousness. There's something about him that I really respect and long to learn more about. Even though we had some short not very romantic AIM convos the other day concerning his not wanting to play my piece considering the recording is on his birthday (totally understandable), a cute picture tagged of us on facebook put me back in full swing. I can't stop thinking about the long smiling gazes we shared on a regular basis throughout the week, or our incessant teasing of each other, or the frequent periods in which we would laugh over something completely goofy. The sweet text message he sent me remains on my phone and I look at it by normal standards, way too often.
However, what I have to do in this sitatuion, without a doubt, is "breathe." I "just" need to "breathe". A good friend of mine noted the other day that guys are very visual in how they perceive girls. A guy, no matter how interested, is not going to be motivated to keep up an online connection with a girl he just met. He's going to wait until he sees her. I'm going to see Stewart in two weeks and regardless of what happened or could happen in the future, I need to breathe and wait it out. I probably need to wait about a month even before really making a judgement on the situation. If Stewart and my connection is one that is meant to develop, it will do so naturally in the future. Right now, there is nothing I can comfortably do to continue to fuel the connection so I'm going to wait and let fate take care of it until I see him and everything becomes more clear.
I know it's extremely hard to wait things out at the start of any new connection. You wonder if the guy will continue to think about you or even view you as a possibility for a relationship. You wonder if you're doing enough to indicate your interest. You wonder if the spark will die without someone actively refueling it. However, keep in mind that nothing is as strong as the excitement over a potential relationship. Guys and girls are different, but we both feel this pull. It may dwindle slightly with temporary loss of contact. Nevertheless, a connection that's meant to exist will hardly ever die completely and definitely not before it's fully explored. This is in fact a comforting thought to me and all those in my situation. It's an exciting place to be - on the brink of a mysterious new connection that you really hope will take flight. Whether or not it will - I'm "holding my breath and counting to ten."
I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy
and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I dont wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say
And I Take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real
And I Give you just a little time
I, Wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe
So I whisper in the dark,
Hoping you hear me
Do you hear me?
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright if i just breathe... breathe
I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
Link to Music Video:
No comments:
Post a Comment