"With A Little Help From My Friends" by the Beatles

Today was an interesting day. It is my last day in the city for a while. I am heading off tomorrow to a cello retreat at my teacher's summer home in Lake Placid after which I will drive with my mom to tour two colleges.

The day started with a bang. I'd gotten little sleep following my discourse with Jacob. My tortured dreams served as indications that my dramatic ending to the ordeal was probably not the correct way to approach things. Upon waking up around 8, I ran to the computer and typed out a long, round-about email to Jacob, taking back my harsh words. I mainly took back my refusal of his plea to be friends. I figured, if I'm going to be in pain anyway, why not be a Samaritan and donate my valuable friendship to an arguably undeserving recipient? After all, Jacob's desperation to be friends, as seen in his futile attempts to get through to me via AIM, does nothing but put me on top in this situation. Not literally. I wish.

After packing, I set out to meet my friend Ilana, a fellow former Walden student, at Penn Station. I'd had lessons with her mom, a voice teacher, throughout the past year. However, I hadn't seen Ilana for over a year. It's funny. Ilana and I had never completely bonded at Walden or outside, but somehow today, talking to her was so easy. We connected immediately - more so than some of the Waldeners that I've recently seen and have known for longer. A random meeting turned out to be one of the most productive uses of time I've had in a while. I left her feeling partly healed from Jacob's wound (she considers him to be complete "good riddance" material) and prepared to continue my life.

On a sadder note however, one of my dearest friends called in tears to inform me that the dog she had had since she was six had passed away during the night. When I went to her apartment, I was moved and saddened by her family's reaction. Her dad sifted through pictures of Winnie, the dog, while listening to the tragic, sweeping melodies of Barber's "Adagio for Strings." Her mom mosied through the house searching for Winnie, nearly reminding Rhi, my friend, to take Winnie out on her walk. Rhiannon herself was a wreck, but because she is stronger than most of the people I know and have ever known, she put on a good face though I could sense and feel the pain that bobbed in and out of clear view.

I was hit with a reality check. I had been spending way too much time moping about a guy who I had known for less than a year and who in that time had caused me much offense. Meanwhile, Rhi had lost her best friend who had done nothing to harm her during the eleven years they spent together. When I talked to Rhi about our plans for life and the year ahead, it became clear that our connection surpassed by far the one I had or could ever have with Jacob. We have the ability to console each other naturally without trying too hard to think of words to say. We are there for each other without having to consciously put in effort. In the end, the natural connections are the ones that ring for the longest amount of time.

I cannot lie and say that the pain from Jacob's slights will fade so quickly if at all while he is still present in my weekly life. I know that upon seeing him, my emotions will explode and unleash a pain too great to even describe coherently. However, despite the inevitable effect this jackass has and will continue to have on me, I can know that I "will get by with a little help from my friends."

Lyrics to: "With A Little Help From My Friends"

What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm going to try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day?
(Are you sad because you're on your own?)
No I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm going to try with a little help from my friends

(Do you need anybody?)
I need somebody to love
(Could it be anybody?)
I want somebody to love

(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time
(What do you see when you turn out the light?)
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh I'm going to try with a little help from my friends

(Do you need anybody?)
I just need somebody to love
(Could it be anybody?)
I want somebody to love

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm going to try with a little help from my friends
Oh I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends
With a little help from my friends

Link to Music Video:
(I'm using the clip from "Across the Universe". It's adorable.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4RKZinIoVo