Wednesday, September 9, 2009

"All We Are" by Matt Nathanson

It's funny...those of you who read my last blog will not predict the turn-out of this one...or perhaps you will seeing the tumultuous nature of my life and its decisions. Basically, today was the first day of school. Over the summer, I hadn't talked much to a good friend of mine named Melanie. Like Clementine, Melanie had helped me through many tough situations in the past - ones of which I did not have the strength to deal with alone. However, this summer, I found out that Melanie had been quite obnoxious to our mutual best friend Viola after having brutally insulted an admittedly annoying friend who is clearly clinically mentally ill. These incidents paired together with our lack of communication resulted in an awkwardness that on the first day became unsettling to both of us.

I told Viola that my distancing myself from Melanie was primarily based on my lack of respect for her actions. However, when I was on the subway later, I realized that I have no basis to judge a friend who has consistently stood by me for some relatively minor spurts of immaturity. I called Melanie and made everything up in a few minutes. And somehow her presence reinstated in my life has made my past and future seem less disjunct.

You might be happy to know that soon after this reunion, Clementine chatted me again on Skype and I gave her a similar explanation to the one I gave to Melanie. We made up in a simliar way and everything I said before melted into a vague pool of silliness.

I don't quite know what prompted me to feel that ignoring and distancing myself from these two people was the right thing to do. But I'm glad that I was inspired by my own thoughts, Viola's, and my mom's to forgo that decision. I guess I could have been lazy. I guess awkward. I guess entitled and arrogant is the main thing...stuck inside my own predetermined bubble of morality. I'm just glad I'm out. "All we are we are." Nothing more, nothing less. We have to forgive eachother. People who seem perfect are either lying or not close enough. This realization saved me from losing two of the best friends I have ever had and maybe will ever have. Life gives you room to rethink, retrace and improve. That's why it makes sense to allow others these freedoms as well - free of charge.

Lyrics to "All We Are":

I tasted, tasted love so sweet
And all of it was lost on me
Buttons sold like property
Sugar on my tongue

I kept falling over
I kept looking backward
I went broke believing
That the simple should be hard

All we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful

I wasted, wasted love for you
Traded out for something new
Well, it's hard to change the way you lose
If you think you never won

'Couse all we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful

And in the end the words won't matter
'Couse in the end tothing stays the same
And in the end dreams just scatter and fall like rain

'Couse all we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful, something real

All we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful, beautiful

Link to Music Video:


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