"With You" by Jessica Simpson

There's a lot that's been going on lately. My feelings for Jacob are no longer tortured and bent. Rather, they are in a similar category to the ones I possess for Drake - practically harmless. My feelings for Edward are either in limbo or non-existent and I have nothing more to say concerning the topic. Now that my knotted past is for the most part untangled, I have a clear vision of what I want...what I've always wanted - perhaps they are the same thing.

Stewart and I have been talking more lately. We had a brief discourse on AIM by which I obtained his gmail address. We've been talking a bit in that medium as well. I guess what's surprised me most about Stewart's and my interactions is that it feels almost effortless. I feel no need to type out 50-page emails to him to capture his attention. I do not ponder for minutes on end about how to respond to his messages. Rather, I spurt off something quick and meaningful and leave the nature of the response, if there is a response, gladly up to him.

I don't know why or how this dynamic has taken place. With all the other guys I've been interested in, there was always a struggle to open them up or impress them with contrived wit. As the days continue, I trust Stewart more and more. I trust our connection. I trust that it is meant to happen - that he is no Prince Charming - but that he is good and good for me. In person, unlike with past people, I feel no need to be raucous and domineering in order to attract his attention. I know that my presence, bubbly yet respectfully reserved, is enough to lure his gaze and focus. What's more is that I trust Stewart's approval of my appearance. I used to primp with paranoia before entering the composition room. Before studio class, I like to check up with the mirror but I also have faith that in entering the classroom, my general aura will be enough. I need not look extravagant or completely free of blemishes. I could be wearing a t-shirt for all he cares. Something about me is enough - something that I hope he might inform me of in the future.

I am astounded by the nature of this budding relationship. It's clear by now that there is something between us - whether it grows into something or not, it exists. I am confident of this and have little fear of moving forward. However, I am not desperate as I have been in the past to push things along. Something about Stewart's introverted yet refreshingly open personality makes me feel secure enough on its own without needing to push for the security of a defined relationship. I want to get to know him better - fully and completely before this year is over. I want to see all sides of him. I want to have more to love than just first and external impressions. At first all I knew is that I felt attracted to him for a variety of unexplained reasons. Now I know that I feel safe in his presence and thinking of him for the same reasons.

If this has the potential to grow, even in senior year, I think it would be worth it. My dreams have been jaded by the harsh reality that seeped through me in the past years. Though it was necessary to experience this, "the real me used to laugh all night lying in the grass just talking about love." I want to bring that girl back. And I think Stewart can help me.

Lyrics to "With You":

The real me is a southern girl with her Levis on and an open heart
Wish I could save the world, like I was super girl
The real me used to laugh all night lying in the grass just talking about love
But lately I've been jaded life got so complicated

I start thinking about it,
I almost forgot what it was like
To know what it feels like
Cause with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now
Now that I'm with you
With you, with you, with you
Now that I'm with you

You speak and it's like a song
And just like that all my walls come down
It's like a private joke just meant for us to know
I relate to you naturally
Everybody else just fades away
Sometimes it's hard to breathe
Just knowing you found me

Cuz I start thinking about it,
I almost forgot what it was like
To know what love feels right
Cause with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now
Now that I'm with you
With you

Come and take me
Love you save me
Like nobody else
Now I can be myself
With you

With you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now (Baby as I do now)
Now that I'm with you

Link to Music Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6wXU6DtouY