My belief is that there is no mountain that is too high for me to summit. There are several with which I am too lazy to follow through, as was the case when I last sang this song in relation to a conquest. But if I so choose, there are none that are too high. So I have a new conquest. And I'm not going to fail. Because I'm not going to scale too quickly, too slowly, or get too lazy. You all, by being soundboards for me as I log my findings will be of the utmost help.
So let me state clearly what I know. It's not much but it's a starting point. As a journalist, I know that the research stage is the most important of the investigation. This is where I must remain level-headed, practical and focused so that I do NOT mess up.
Here's what has happened between me and Stewart that indicates that we had a date-worthy connection in the past:
1. The way he looked at me - frequently smiling and focused (it's all in the eyes)
2. The way he, as a clearly shy guy, would come up to hang out in my room for no apparent reason.
3. The way we developed a clearly standing connection in three days.
4. The way he asked if he would see me in two weeks when he clearly was going to
5. The way he told me I played excellently when I clearly did not. That was so unnecessary.
6. The way Georgina told me that she thinks he likes me. I also developed a strong connection with her throughout that short period of time and I therefore know her well enough to know that she would not speak unless she truly believed something.
Here's what indicates that this connection is or has potential to continue:
1. The whole staring, smiling thing is just as prominent.
2. Just last week, he wished me happy birthday four times and seemed eager to talk to me.
3. He's in my band, officially.
4. His mom brings him to music school, but he can stay after because he takes the train home alone afterwards so there is potential to hang out.
Here's what gives me a lot of doubt:
1. Stewart hardly ever initiates conversation during the week. When we're together in the same room he does, but maybe twice he has when we're apart.
2. Tonight he wasn't that into talking. He was warming up but then I stopped initiating conversation and he stopped responding and the conversation died.
3. He hasn't legitimately asked me to hang out.
4. He responds to aim, but not consistently by email or text.
Why I should ignore this doubt and continue hiking:
1. I have only had legit bonding time with this guy for 7 days.
2. I know he isn't the communicative type
3. In person interaction is more of an indicator of a connection than online interaction, which is often plagued by work and other environmental distractions
4. I know hardly ANYTHING about this guy and vice versa! How can I expect him to be head-over-heels in love with me? I'm not yet head-over-heels in love with him! I just love what I see and know which is very little! And he's a guy so he doesn't really think hypothetically. It's going to take a straightforward move from ME the girl to make this happen.
5. People are not consistent. Some days, you catch them in the zone and they're focused on you and ready to delight in your presence. Other days, they're focused on other things and you're primarily a distraction, especially in the early stages of a budding relationship.
6. How would he know if he wants to date me? He hasn't really spent any time with me! And because he doesn't know, he's not inclined to pursue it. People are busy and need legit incentive to break out of their bubbles. That's my job. I'm always out of my bubble. I need to help him out of his if this is ever going to happen.
7. I need to have FAITH in who I am. I'm someone who wins and who in the right mindset and perspective can always win.
8. He is no doubt leading me on when we're together in person. So if I were to make a move, it wouldn't be entirely random or ridiculous.
9. People's minds change. Even if he isn't entirely into me now, that doesn't mean he won't be soon. There's definitely enough of a connection and attraction on his end to foster something larger if given a cue.
So. Here's the information I have for the most part. It's not much, but putting it down here has helped me organize my thoughts and realize how ridiculous my doubts are in the overall scheme of this potential relationship. I have a goal and an investigation to carry out. So I'm going to climb. And this time, I'm not stopping midway.
Lyrics to "Ain't No Mountain High Enough":
Listen, baby
Ain't no mountain high
Ain't no vally low
Ain't no river wide enough, baby
If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry
'Cause baby,
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
Remember the day
I set you free
I told you
You could always count on me
From that day on I made a vow
I'll be there when you want me
Some way,some how
'Cause baby,
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
No wind, no rain
My love is alive
Way down in my heart
Although we are miles apart
If you ever need a helping hand
I'll be there on the double
As fast as I can
Don't you know that
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
Don't you know that
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
Link to Music Video:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHHAAH!!!!! You are GREAT! AHAHAHHAAHAH!
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