Today was an interesting day. It was my first full day being 18. It's not that I felt any older walking the halls at music school. But I did feel different. It's like my past became legitimately my past. Jacob had no effect on me. Seeing new Facebook pictures of Edward had no affect on me. I felt detached and individual - as if I had been just granted a brand new start. Somehow, I don't feel obligated to where I've been or who I used to be. I'm new, reformed and confident about my future.
What I realized today while listening to "Nimrod" is that music without words has the potential to overpower even the best of lyrics. Sitting in the orchestra room, watching an ensemble of friends put forth this luminous mirage of sound, I began to tear a bit. Miranda had goosebumps next to me. I began to see that the most powerful of elements in the world are those that do not need words to be acknowledged and therefore do not use them. Words are a form of communicating emotion and information. But in and of themselves, they are meaningless. The reason I wanted Jacob to say "I love you" was not because I needed the words to be said as he thought. It's because I felt a void in his emotional outreach and I thought that the words, said heartfelt would compensate. But they couldn't. Not only did he never say them, but he never felt them. It was the feeling that mattered.
It was as if the day, like Nimrod, was a series of repetitive events that increased their impact every time they were repeated. I was standing, posters in hand, swaggering about with my cello. Stewart glanced up and smiled...that long slow smile that gets me every time. I could see him above the crowd outside during the fire drill. There were leagues of people between us. Yet because of his height, our eyes could still meet. We crossed paths in the hallway. He said "Happy Birthday" for the fourth time. It didn't need to be said. The words were just filler words that could have been easily replaced with "hello" or "how's it going?". It was their delivery that counted...the emotion that existed behind the dead noise.
If words aren't said, how do they acquire power in our society? After all, our society is communication based. How could it be that unexplained connections amount to anything? I don't quite have an answer. Perhaps words eventually need to be said. In that case, it would be my instinct's call and not my own. A wordless piece of art is up to individual interpretation. So listen to this excerpt. Let it inspire you as it did me.
Link to Music Video:
No comments:
Post a Comment