I've been in multiple situations where I've felt certain that I deserved a second chance. I was quite sure that I deserved one with Edward and I got it. The countless times I went back to Walden and demanded second and third chances from Connor, I got them as well. You'd think that because of this, I'd be willing to lend out second chances in turn to people who have messed with me. And you know that with Jacob, I have been way to willing. However, when faced with a challenge whether or not to give one to a past close friend named Clementine, I am quite befuddled. Is there a point at which giving a second chance is at best unnecessary and maybe even unwise?
Clementine and I used to have a close, honest, relationship. She'd tell me what she honestly thought about Edward. She opened up to me about her family. I was free to comment on her actions concerning her smoking or even worse, cutting herself. But somehow, last year, this all changed. I found myself wondering how Clementine had shifted from the sweet friend I could trust to a two-faced backstabber who was excellent at turning my closest friends, even Edward indirectly, against me.
I knew she had a problem with lying. I had known this for a while, but I thought, naively, that our friendship reached beyond this problem. When I found out I was wrong, I rightly stopped confiding in Clementine. We would meet occassionally but I knew at least subconsciously that I had to keep my distance. Afterall, whenever I tried to address the dirty situation that lay beneath our working facade, Clementine returned with defensive comments expressing how she sought to remodel her new life and how I was preventing her from doing so.
Honestly, when there are 6 billion people on the planet, out of which I have picked several strong, honest people to be my friends, why am I obligated to keep on trying at Clementine's command to revive our relationship? When she chatted me on Skype today, I know I have the obligation to listen, but to try to reconcile when I'm not even to blame and Clementine can't even remember what she did wrong? That seems vaguely unbalanced. If she values my friendship so much, then she shouldn't have poisoned it. I have plenty of friends who haven't done even an inkling of what she has.
It's not this one action in its entirety that prevents me from wanting to rekindle. It's that Clementine has a survivor personality: She values survival way more than the truth and though she has a facade of being honest and open, I know from countless experience that such facade is false. I do not like to pretend. I do not like to guard myself against someone who was and should be a close friend. As the more honest person in the relationship, I'd be the one "hanging on a rope hanging two feet off the ground." And I don't need to be in that position. There's nothing that can be done when major personality traits or flaws, as the case may be do not match up. As people grow, friendship becomes more of a serious compromise. And knowing this, there are some situations in which it is indeed "too late to apologize".
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Bridge (guitar/piano)
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground..
Link to Music Video:
Hey! I love you! Thank you for sharing this with me. I do not think you are just a drama queen.. you have great wisdom (ahahah sounds funny. Like it should be in a book with wizards and old things.. ahah..) even though you may not now realize it as your emotions crowd you. Most people would not try to examine their feelings as painstakingly as you have, rather they would jump into things with little thought, thinking that their first impression is the best. No matter what happens just remember love surrounds you. You will never be alone. You probably know who this is….maybe…ahahahahaha! Now you do!!!...this sounds kinda Mushy..ahhh well...:)
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