"Breathe" by Anna Nalick

So you're sitting on the brink of a new potential relationship. You've been waiting a while. Between sorting out your past and fretting about your future, you haven't had much time to focus on the present. However now, things are shaping up. The past is slipping away - or at least morphing into something you understand and can deal with, the future is the future, and the present is nearing closer.

I've been thinking a bit about how I deal with my emotions - particularly when I care deeply about someone. When I care about an event - like my band recording, or getting into my top choice college, somehow I keep perspective. I work hard but not so much that my mental focus goes. When it comes to caring about friends, I can do this as well while keeping a handle on my own life. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, my perspective starts to dramatically dwindle. Caring about this type of person for me is often not a positive thing. The care eats up my self-respect. I have a desperate need to know that my feelings are reciprocated. Being unsure sends me into a state of delusion. The person becomes an object to me - an object of my care - but an object nonetheless.

This is how the large majority of my relationships have gone in the past. I have come across initially as the hot, chill, eccentric girl who appears to be an artsy guy's ideal match. However, as the relationship progresses, they start to see inklings of the neuroses I mentioned in my previous blog as well as my desperate need for control. Somewhere between these two negative forces, the relationship falls apart.

I guess now it seems that I'm being offered another chance - a chance to rise above the normal paranoid intricacies of relationship behavior. I'm being offered this chance and I'm going to take it. I'm going to work backwards, striving hard to feel comfortable and remain natural.

A year ago, if you'd asked me what to do when you're sitting on the brink of a new relationship, I'd say let loose all hell and go in for the kill. Now, as I'm wiser and broken with time, I say "Breathe...just breathe."

Lyrics to "Breathe":

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

Link to Music Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPz3YaIJkjQ